Living Proof Live-Part One

About a month ago I made arrangements to go see Beth Moore Living Proof Live Simulcast at a local

church. Excited that I would be able to go I invited every woman I knew to come along. Weeks go by and only one person agreed to come. Feeling disappointed and very discouraged that no one wanted to spend time with me, I almost canceled and said "what's the point"...

So glad I didn't cancel! Once I stopped feeling sorry for myself and appreciated the fact that I would have a day to myself fellow-shipping with other women whether I knew them or not. My one friend did indeed come as well and throughout our conversations I found out she was a non-believer and searching for truth and something positive in this world (aren't we all, just not always in the right place). During lunch together I shared the gospel with her, which is something I don't always have the courage to do but the Lord's voice was so loud it could not be ignored on what I was supposed to do. Although, she did not accept Jesus Christ that day I couldn't help but think if I did cancel on her because I was too busy throwing a pity party for myself. Once I got over myself God used me that day for HIS purpose.

Too often I allow my feelings to stand in the way of doing things for His Kingdom. All the "What If's" run through my head and fear sets in. To give you a bit of insight here are a few that I hear all the time...
     What if I say something wrong?
     What if they ask me a question that I can't answer?
     What if they don't like me after I share with them?
You get the idea. I have come along way to not allowing these things to rule over me with the help of prayer and sharing with my husband my thoughts. (I didn't always share all the crazy in my head with him but when he asked me too I saw a huge change in my life. He now knows how to pray for me and also because he is a Bible wiz always knows where I should read to overcome whatever my struggles are.)

I will end this post with simply saying we all have something we struggle with but as soon as we remember how BIG OUR GOD IS everything else falls away. Praying that you(myself included) don't let fear stand in the way of your godly purpose!

Oh and also please pray for my friend and that I will have more opportunities to share with her.

My Beautiful Mess

One Arizona evening the sky turned a bright red-orange with clouds everywhere followed by rolls of thunder. I ran to my mom in a panic worried that this meant Jesus was returning. She asked me why I was worried about that and I replied "I haven't got be a mommy yet." and in her best wisdom she calmed my 7ish year old self by telling me "God would put you in charge of the babies in heaven".

I tell you this story because ever since I can remember my greatest desire was to be married and be a mommy. Now with two precious little girls and a boy on the way, I realize that this mommy thing is nothing like I imagined. It's HARD!!! I mean really hard! With my oldest only 3 I feel like I have already ruined her with all the mistakes I have made.

Not too long ago I went on a girls night out (very rare) with some ladies from church and saw Mom's Night Out and I cried almost the whole time just because of how much it hit home for me. After watching it I realized that I was expecting my husband and my kids to provide all the joy in my life and when things didn't work out I would feel so depressed. I was seeking joy from everyone but the right person, only God can give me true joy, and give it to me through the chaos of my life. A quote from the movie "Life is about finding the joy in the chaos and the crazy."

Much like the main character in the movie I realize that my life will never be perfect nor will I be the perfect mother but with lots of prayer and God's help I will be the best I can be. After months of prayer I felt lead to start this blog to share with other mom's my journey from taking my mess and giving it to the Lord so He can turn it into a Beautiful Mess...a Masterpiece!