My Beautiful Mess

One Arizona evening the sky turned a bright red-orange with clouds everywhere followed by rolls of thunder. I ran to my mom in a panic worried that this meant Jesus was returning. She asked me why I was worried about that and I replied "I haven't got be a mommy yet." and in her best wisdom she calmed my 7ish year old self by telling me "God would put you in charge of the babies in heaven".

I tell you this story because ever since I can remember my greatest desire was to be married and be a mommy. Now with two precious little girls and a boy on the way, I realize that this mommy thing is nothing like I imagined. It's HARD!!! I mean really hard! With my oldest only 3 I feel like I have already ruined her with all the mistakes I have made.

Not too long ago I went on a girls night out (very rare) with some ladies from church and saw Mom's Night Out and I cried almost the whole time just because of how much it hit home for me. After watching it I realized that I was expecting my husband and my kids to provide all the joy in my life and when things didn't work out I would feel so depressed. I was seeking joy from everyone but the right person, only God can give me true joy, and give it to me through the chaos of my life. A quote from the movie "Life is about finding the joy in the chaos and the crazy."

Much like the main character in the movie I realize that my life will never be perfect nor will I be the perfect mother but with lots of prayer and God's help I will be the best I can be. After months of prayer I felt lead to start this blog to share with other mom's my journey from taking my mess and giving it to the Lord so He can turn it into a Beautiful Mess...a Masterpiece!